A lot has been written about girlfriends. And i don’t mean treatises on an unfathomable species by generations of exasperated men, but glowing eulogies by grateful women... heartfelt tributes to an extraordinary species of time-resistant, shock-proof, battle-hardened partners-in-crime, belonging to an exclusive members-only cult if you may.
Before Sex and the City epitomised the lunching ladies of the Big Apple, i had already written a billion eulogies in my head to all those wonderful women who i thank for my daily, sometimes even hourly, sanity.
Every once in a while, my husband casts an annoyed glance at chattering 'chicks', who seem to be blissfully unaware that they are ruining many a peace of mind, while i grin sheepishly in the simple and comforting knowledge that i too proudly belong to the not-so-secret tribe of ladies, who quite simply, lunch. Ok, we also shop, guzzle beer, shoot tequilas, ogle (oops, aesthetically appreciate, i mean!), and often chase away the other patrons of the local watering hole by a cacophony of “no, you didn’t!”, “shuuuut uuuup!”, “he said that?!” and other such suitably loud and vacuous phrases, the loaded significance of which is incomprehensible to lesser mortals.
So yes, at the risk of acknowledging my peskiness, i’m proud to have been there, done that. And by that i mean being unrepentant in unashamedly chasing away grumbling unhappy people who could no longer bear the dissonance of deafeningly discussed diets, bare-all banter on the biceps of the boy next door and the hotly debated merits of insanely expensive accessories.
For all those of you who have had the misfortune to chance upon just the kind of scene i am describing, sleep well my dears... rejoice in the knowledge that there is someone out there who is lending a shoulder to all your girlfriends, wives, mothers, sisters to cry on, an ear to bitch to and a hand to hold, allowing them to let off steam that could very well be scalding your helplessly wrung hands at this very moment! And the next time you happen to lose your patience with one of our kind, making a nuisance in a public place, all you have to do is smile at the thought that some of your precious time is being saved for crucial pursuits like scandalous scratching, girl gawking, cricket couching and buddy boozing, time that could very well have been hijacked by ladies who.... hmmm... er... prefer not to lunch.