Friday, December 14, 2007
i think that i have (self-diagnosed) bi-polar disorder.
i mean, all the symptoms are there, gesturing obscenely at me:
i feel euphoric and deflated all in the span of a few minutes; sometimes, i love the world and hate the people in it, and at other times, love the people and deplore the world they inhabit; i look into the mirror and am awestruck by my un-comeliness (there ain't a better word!), and then i am amazed by the (by now messed) up genetic gift of grace that is me; i am a failure if i do try and tabulate my successes and successful if i count my failures; life's often like the first sip of beer on a sweltering afternoon, and then it is suddenly like warmth-resistant toes sticking out of a shrunken quilt; suddenly i think there is somethin' cheeky in me somewhere, and then this is all there is....