Friday, August 22, 2008

Taken as given

we all live with presumptions, none more potent than the ones we try and super-impose on our ideal-turned-reality of the perfect mate/spouse/soul-mate/better-half (really?).

in presuming that we are saving the other from a solitary fate, we are all too eager to set about restoring the lost balance in their lives. some people, in their rush to 'give all', take away the most important thing that truly made them fall in love with "the one": their spirit.

consider the words that most men and women choose as their silent (and sometimes ever too vocal) vows, before they are entangled in all too (un)holy matrimony.
the man's might go something like this:

"dress no longer in off-the-rack rags, and fear no more the dragon boss, m'lady, for, from this day hence , i shall be thy sole provider of riches, thy slayer of dishy dragons, the protector of thy virtue, and gatekeeper to thy soul, so that thy pure aura may never be sullied by the vile invasion of financial independence, the joy of employment and burning ambition. fear not the empty minutes, for i shall fill them with exalted household chores and vacuous pleasures worthy of the mistress of my heart and hearth."

the women, never to be left behind, might pledge the following:

" fear not, m'lord, i know thou shalt not lose focus on my welfare, for i shall gouge your eyes out if you make eyes at another, flood thy refusals with the rivers of my mascara'd tears, keep you fit and healthy by making you sweat to earn every penny that you squander on my upkeep, chase away the dewy-eyed damsels of your drunken dreams, slay the myriad pleasures of your bachelorhood, complete every thought you didn't even know you had and never leave your side long enough for you to have second thoughts."

ahhhh.. i know i am the reigning Queen of Hyperbole, or am i?

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