Monday, September 29, 2008

"bel far niente..."

.... is Italian for "the beauty of doing nothing". Here are some of my favourite nothings:

  • Popping bubble wrap, of course. So, if you see a shady type lurking outside gift shops, looking for throwaways, or if you get a very very fragile gift knocking around freely in the box, you know who stole the bubble wrap!
  • Driving like a woman.... I turn the wheel of justice in the direction of skeptics who insist that women can't drive. How? By giving them exactly what they expect. So, i dream at the wheel while the light turns goes from glowing green to an angry red, make mental lists of who i'll invite on my years-away fortieth birthday while navigating rush hour traffic, all the while weaving in and out of lanes at the speed of 23, while pretending to have broken hearing aids and a missing rear-view mirror... then suddenly I decide to wake up to a change of tact and start honking at everyone in or out of my way, while attempting my closest imitation of Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction. (Note: I suggest that all women put this on their partners' to-view-before-saying-I-do list. I mean even I was scared of her!)
  • Staring into space and humming Moby's Love should... There's just something about the song (besides the fact that it is very un-Mobyish) that reminds me of tangled sheets, intangible regrets and transcendental love. The very best of all there is in life.
  • Pressing the i button on my Tata Sky remote to read synopses of random programme episodes/movies. You'd be surprised at the way they reduce the histrionics to four lines!
  • Changing my phone language settings to Filipino, just to see how familiar I am with my handset and then to French to figure whether i can recognise commands from a two week crash course in French from five years sgo.
  • Watching a crackling fire.
  • Getting wet in the rain, and then standing under a hot shower with a shot of scotch at hand.
  • Adding up the digits on the number plate of the car ahead of me to try and figure out what the driver's lucky number is.
  • Hitting the "bullets" button on any feature... MS Word, Blogger et al :)
  • Finally... pushing my keyboard tray in for the day... and turning the key in the ignition.

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