Friday, September 12, 2008

Friday Fundas...GoTSoT !!

TGIF. To celebrate my blog's self-designed, papppppi and kitschy new look (taaliyaan, taaliyaan...!!), and honour the first few comments that i have ever received (ahem!), and as a logical corollary (according to my warped sense of terminally ill-logic) of these historic developments, i hereby launch "Friday Fundas".

Though there was to be a ribbon cutting ceremony and all that, i couldn't get any Bollywood celebrities to endorse this space since they are all worried about the lack of Marathi subtitles in here.

So, here i go again, endorsement deprived and celebrity-less, and these are some more of my humbly rendered, and truly random, observations for the week gone by, and the one that will be:

  • Seat-belts have a hidden and loftier motive
And that is to keep you awake and alert while driving. Have you ever noticed how they dig into your skin, just around the collar, causing you immense grief by keeping you awake when all you want to do is nap while taking the India Gate circle, lulled as you are by the beauty of Lutyen's Delhi? AND they are so very obviously designed by men and for men, given the fact that guys have the option of tucking the offending strap under their shirt collar to avoid chafing. Besides which, they are significant contributors to road rage, making hormonally charged women into deadly weapons. I say, you want to get to the Pakis? Send in a bunch of PMSing women armed with seat belts and voila! we'll be sitting on all of Siachen in a week!

  • The sheen has come off the Pakistani cricketers' hair
Well, this has been a pet peeve for years. Years ago, when i used to give more than a damn about cricket, i dreamt of meeting Shahid Afridi of the roadside romeo locks, Rameez Raja of the trendy tresses, Imran Khan and Wasim Akram of the MBish overgrown curls tantalisingly brushing their sweaty collars, crowning their roguish appeal, and Shoaib Akhtar of the flying forelocks and Waqar Younis of the chic close cut only to ask them what shampoo they used! With the Americans not to happy with the Pakistanis these days, and with all that crap being collected on the embattled glacier that is cumulatively flowing down the Indus into our neighbours' showers, perhaps we have to be content with Ishaan's shaggy style statement now that Cap'n Dhoni has gone respectable. He gives the phrase "bad hair day" a parallel universe to exist in.

and now for a mini, "does-it-really-require-any-further-comment?" section called GoTSoT! (Gosh That's So True!): and this week it's the movies (& Bollywood rules!) -

  • If you reach late for a movie it will always begin on time, and vice-versa
  • The length of a movie is inversely proportional to the quality of its content
  • If the fakely-traded punches are evenly distributed, the fight will only end once the opponents discover they are long-lost brothers.
  • The less leg space there is in a movie theatre, the more are the chances of you being seated in a row of latecomers
  • If there are 3 heroines to 4 heroes, chances are one of the guys will die before the end
  • If the title begins with Kkkkk infinitum, then its definitely..... oh, sorry, that's the one a kindergarten kid told me
Which means its time to sign off with this:

there was this kid
who really liked milk
so he soaked his cookies in it
and then they tasted like silk

and then there was this girl
who liked to act like a boy
so she would cry like a baby
till her mommy bought her a toy

then there was this boy
who wanted to grow up smart
so he changed into a girl
and now with his baniyan must part

and finally there were these folks
who were fed up of working all week
so they told the boss they won't
and now are asking for bheekh

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